Let's Be Honest...

I started my competition preparation 2 weeks ago, which would be 10 weeks out from my November 3 Las Vegas Muscle Show. I stayed fairly lean throughout the summer therefore I felt I could take my time slowly without killing myself in the gym NOR starving myself. My training and diet have been going well but something bothersome happened.

Actually, multiple "symptoms" where happening. You see, I would hit a brick wall around 1pm. My energy was zapped and if I laid my head down I was bound to fall asleep. I was having crazy vivid dreams at night. I also had mild abdominal cramping. Then my period was late. I waited a week but Aunt Flo never showed up. So then I thought, "what if I'm pregnant?" So I bought a 2-pack preggo test. The first one said negative. Then I waited a couple more days and took the second one, which was completely blank (that means the stupid thing is defective). I immediately called my nearby medical clinic to schedule a blood test. I took the test on Friday and the Nurse Practitioner said I'd have to wait 2 business days before getting back the results. Well guess what, this was Labor Day weekend so my wait was 4 friggen days.

This whole weekend I started thinking, "well if I'm pregnant than I obviously can't compete on November 3. Am I ok with that? Of course I am! I love my son and my husband, I'd be more than elated to add another to our family." I began daydreaming about my baby, wondering what he/she would look like. Then I started thinking of names, and baby clothes, and maternity clothes, and nursery ideas. And well, you get the picture. The competition completely left my mind and I was immersed in thoughts of babies! Then Tuesday came, and I got a call, and the blood test said I was not pregnant. I thanked the woman for calling and immediately went on to my lunch.

As the afternoon started unfolding I realized I was actually quite upset. I wanted to be pregnant. I texted my husband to inform him of the "negative" news and he said he was really bummed. By 5pm, I was depressed. Mike came home from work and suggested we go out and get sushi. Even though I'm currently dieting for the competition, and it's not a scheduled cheat meal, I decided we needed to enjoy dinner together and talk about how we were feeling. We had a nice conversation about our future family plans and what we both want. Because of my feelings on both the upcoming competition I've been training for AND my feelings on expanding our family I've come to the realization that... I better make a decision of which is more important to me right now! This Friday I'll make my final decision, move forward with competition which is in 8 weeks or move forward with our expanding the family plan.

See the thing is you can't have both. Not as a female figure competitor at least. As you bring your bodyfat down to get that lean stage ready look, a lot of females lose their menstrual cycle. This has happened to me before and on more than one occasion. And I'm actually thinking that my bodyfat level right now is why my period disappeared. The question I now ask myself, "Right now what is more important to you? The competition or having another child?"